It’s been a while since my last post! Instead of telling you everything I’ve been up to (you know just graduating college and starting to work 40 hours a week while trying to figure out my next big move, the usual.) I thought I would open up with something more personal. This is a journey of the growth of confidence, going from makeup reliant to happily being out with no makeup at all.
I recently was on a trip back home to San Diego with my boyfriend to see my parents and my dog. Apparently, I also was destined to participate in goldfish racing at a local bar (more on that another time). However, in between those days of fun and relaxation, I began to think about how I look at myself in the mirror, literally.
My Journey With Makeup
I have worn makeup ever since I was in high school. I remember looking at my mom in the passenger seat of her car when I was 15 and asked “mom, can I start wearing mascara?” That was when it all started. Mostly, I began wearing it for fun because “everyone” was doing it. After a while, that changed and I began wearing it as a necessity, looking at my imperfections (acne and light-colored eyebrows) as something I needed to fix.
I started getting more used to what I looked like with products on than when I had no makeup. Even during high school tennis practice, I wore a little bit for confidence, most of which sweated off anyways. As soon as college hit, I began wearing makeup every single day. Between class, work, and Sunday dates with my boyfriend I thought I needed to look presentable all the time. Weighed down by the need to cover every blemish and scar, I began to realize how much it was affecting me. Something had to change.
Over the years my relationship with makeup has shifted. When I was on this vacation surrounded by people who love me, I realized that I didn’t need it every day. One night in particular I said “screw it” and decided not to put on a single drop of makeup. My boyfriend and I were planning on stopping by a late show at Belly Up in Solana Beach. I was still rolling with my no-makeup look after being at the beach all day and on the way out the door, a realization hit me.
As clear as the water breaking the shore earlier that afternoon I realized I only was wearing makeup for others, not myself.
Now, you might find this silly as it’s not the most groundbreaking of thoughts. That being said, sometimes it takes the right sequence of events for a realization to occur and absorbed with full understanding.
I love the process of getting ready and glammed up but if you ever don’t have the urge to “get ready” then don’t! It’s because those who you surround yourself with should love you unconditionally, and not point out the imperfections that you might easily see. You’re truly beautiful just the way you are.
Here I am now, post-grad, trying to make sense of the world but most importantly, make sense of who I am. I cherish the days I have off from work so that I don’t have to wear anything on my face, just to let my skin breathe. I no longer feel the need and pressure to apply makeup if I’m just making a trip to the grocery store. Confidence within me has grown tremendously and with that, I’m extremely thankful for the loving people in my life that reinforce those thoughts.
Let your skin breathe. Let your imperfections breathe. Most importantly, love yourself just the way you are.
*Photography by Benjamin Longson